August 6, 2011

The dreaded dental visit

August 6, 2011

Tell me, who really enjoys going to the dentist?  No one!  The main reason I dislike it is because I'm not a regular flosser and I know my dentist will chew me out for not doing so.  Well, she really doesn't, but I know she tries to be nice, so she doesn't lose me as her patient.  When I was in my 20s, I used to go to a dental hygienist in Danville and I swear, she would stop her cleaning after the first 10 minutes, would actually put down her tools and lecture me endlessly about the importance of flossing!  She treated me like I committed the biggest sin known to the dental world and how she was so immensely concerned about my sorry gums and teeth!  Okay, enough already!  I get the point!  But being the guilty and naive patient I was back in the day, all I could say was I'm sorry, I promise to do a better job next time.  Man, if she told me that now, my reply to her would be "Listen, this is precisely why I come to you every 6 months, so you can clean my teeth.  Do your job because you are getting paid by my insurance, so shut the fuck up"!  People do tend to take advantage of young folks like that.  So, sure enough, I flossed and brushed diligently every freakin day and when I returned 6 months later, she noticed a huge improvement and commended me on a job well done.  However, she had to ruin her praise by mentioning that I needed to pay extra attention to my back molars.  Hello!  Whenever you're praising someone, never follow up with a negative remark!  It totally wipes out every praise that you just gave and all they'll remember is your negative remark.  Fine, I followed her advice and 6 months later, she tells me that I'm brushing too hard now. Needless to say, I decided not to return to this biatch.  Enough said.

Fast forward to 30 years later, I'm now seeing a dentist in San Mateo.  Been going here for the past 11 years.  Dr. R is a great guy and his dental hygienist Linda was the absolute best who had the most gentlest hands in the world.  I like coming in on Saturdays and Dr. R stopped working Saturdays.  Linda finally quit 'cause she got tired commuting.  I've seen a new dentist join R's practice and a turnover of dental assistants.  Lately, for the past year or so, I have been unfortunate enough to fall under the hands of C who I swear, has the most heaviest hands ever!  I really don't get how she fails to see how rough she handles my mouth and every freakin tool she grabs.  I have told her repeatedly to be more gentler and she apologizes but yet her rough ways still prevails. 

When I came in today, I was bummed to see "C" behind the counter. She set me up and informed me that I needed xrays done.  She inserted a new device in my mouth and I told her that the piece was huge.  She agreed and said yes, it tends to gag some people.  Well, duh?  Can't you guys get a smaller piece then?  So she sticks the thing on the other side of my mouth and adjusts the camera which looks like a telescope and it knocks the piece from my mouth.  Hello!  Miss Rough housing!  What the hell's wrong with you?  Omg!  Thank God, she wasn't the one to polish my teeth next.  A new girl walks in and takes over.  Nice girl but while she was polishing my teeth, the bottom part of her drill kept falling off, about 3 times.  Each time, she would try and fix it until I finally told her "why don't you just get another one?"  She said it was being used in the next room.  I was ready to complain that she shouldn't be using a defective part on me because I'm a paying customer!  Anyway, she was finally done with me and a new dentist walks in and introduces himself.  At this point, I'm thinking, "Crap, my luck.  I get a new dentist on top of these 2 loser assistants.  Get me the hell outa here"!  He's a young 'un, prolly in his mid or late 20s.  Nice guy.  He said he likes to use the laser drill when cleaning teeth and not the hook by scrapping the old fashioned way.  I said that's fine.  The faster the better.  He did a great job and I like this guy.  When it was over, I walk to the front desk and the girl who had trouble with the drill made my next appointment in Feb.  Then she proceeds to tell me that I have a balance on my account, could I make a payment today?  I looked at her puzzled and she looked at her paper work and said, "oh I'm so sorry, wrong patient!"  Omg!  I was soooooo close to telling them to cancel my appointment because I wasn't gonna be returning ever!  Wtf!  If it weren't for that new dentist, I would have.  But come to think of it, if these 2 clowns are still gonna be there assisting him 6 months from now, I better be looking for a new dentist.  I can be a very unforgiving patient/customer and if I'm not happy with your services, I will take my business elsewhere.  I heard that dentists have the highest suicide rate among professional workers and I wonder if this still holds true.  No wonder they want to kill themselves!  How would you like to look at people's mouths all day long and nothing else?  Would I rather have a mammogram or go to the dentist?  Mammogram!  Pap smear or dentist?  Pap smear!  Allergy shots or dentist?  Allergy shots!  Dentist or dentist?  No thank you.  Enough said.

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